taking patience for granted.

isn’t it so terribly sad?
death. leaving. leaving people you love, people who love you. death of a relationship, when you choose to abandon what you started building with someone else.

isn't it so terribly sad?

maybe. but not to me. another matter of perspective i say.

life doesn’t last very long. neither do most things in it. tragic, that good things almost always have an ending.. but fortunate, that they ever happened in the first place.

quote by brad pitt in troy “everything’s more beautiful, because we’re doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are now.. we will never be here, again.”

doomed.

like a rose. it’s a bud for days.. weeks. when it blooms, people cut them off and and sell them. boy gives them in dozens to girl, and she brings them home to put in vases. they’re beautiful, and so much lovelier to look at. they mean so much more.. because they don’t last long. in fact, they’re the most beautiful when they’re dying. to some.. maybe even when they’re already dead.

***

i've been pulled out of school, but the paper work has yet to be done. i've been informed that i would be expected to take on a job and eventually move out. i'm determined to take on maybe two, and maybe rent a place or a room soon.

i've also been grounded for your information, so don't get all mad when i don't answer your calls and sos messages.

sigh.

i miss everyone too. see you guys when i do.

and to you baby..?

i love you darling. and i miss you madly. it kinda sucks that you had the mood to game while i was telling you about my crapstorm, but i guess it's cos you've got nothing much to say to me. i think i've let you down.

i'm sorry b.. it's like i'm your very heavy burden, that you have to worry about all the time. i'm sorry.

if i could change it all.. i don't know. maybe i wouldn't have said hi at deafcon. then you wouldn't have had to go through all this with me. i wish i wasn't so selfish. i wish i didn't want so much for you to cry with me, or say you'd stick by me no matter what, or run over to bedok the instant you heard of what happened. i wish i wasn't so selfish.

thank you for being here baby. thank you for loving me still.

i love you.